if you haven’t, RELINK ME AT ONEOFTHEMNOW.BS please^o^v

hey dudes and doodettes

and only a few hours after i think i did the right thing,
blog.com works once more. hm. i’m gonna use this as a metaphor, alright?

i’m always dealing with my problems in a stupid way:
i either ignore it, or make things worse, or take the time to think of a solution.
and when i do come up with a solution, it’s just not the right time.
and that thus becomes another problem, which i will deal with in the same/other stupid way.

well know what? i give up. i accept defeat.
i am a goner when it comes to problems.
when people go to me for advice, i can confidently present an essay.
but when it comes to my own life, well, i am as good as dead.

so, i give up. i give up trying to go against fate.
things come. they go. i don’t wanna do anything.

and don’t tell me this is freakin wrong because my life has already been decided by God. i’m not changing it. this is how He’s wrote it, and this is what i’m doing. it’s a pathetic way to live, because i am pathetic.

i won’t be posting at Unendlichkeit anymore i guess.. so much for Infinity huh.
i’ll be posting at The Webs I Weave, because that, is a place of lies, where i’ll be happy every day. where i cannot be honest. and then when the posts limit has reached, i’ll come back here.
let’s see how many years i can go on lying. let’s see how long i can give up my life.

Charge the gates

  Yep, finally i took a pic of it: my new haircut! it’s really shoorrrttttt!!! but i like it?? i dunno. HAHA all those times i said “i wanna let my hair GROW first, then cut off the split ends” didn’t pay off, huh. eeh well, i guess i’m not a girl of my word boohoo!
yeah, as you can see, the layering is pretty cool luhh. you should see the back! i couldnt take a pic of the back, with the gay phone camera & my gay shakey hands. hahahah.

anyways i actually like this hairstyle though i rly miss the looongness!
i was beginning to warm up to the longness,too!. aaawww regret is settling in!

HAHA don’t mind that, anyways… i suddenly dont care about results wtf. no seriously.
i think cos almost everyone’s gg like “when’s results coming out?” and i keep saying i dunno, and the more i say that the more i do not want to know [everyone's gonna keep asking me bah.HAHA] and so, i stopped looking forward to it. i’m not scared. i’m not excited. just, neutral. yet again OHH HAHA YAY?

anyways, i did the most thickest and ugliest eyeliner job i’ve ever done. HAHAA srsly how does Bill Kaulitz pull it off so well? i’m in girly envy. i mean he’s not even a girl? i’m so jealous :[

watched 6 epis of Hot Shot: i downed 7 epis so far. then i realised i only had one more epi to watch so i didnt. asked Jo to watch it [from epi 1] with me. haha! although, his dad was like watching it on tv [they have the cd] at that time. haha yes, my grandpa owns.
i freakin love the show! and Show, of course. weehee. the show is so awesome, hot, gorgeous and helluva humorous.  go watch, laaaa, alamak. read my blog only, but never listen. HAHA wth, yes you can slap me if you want to, when you meet me.

alright did you enjoy Illumination and Twisted Death [by Jo]? haha, if yes, YOU ROCK! THANKS FOR READING! and if no, aaww, write me better stories okay? ^^.

so, life is still a bore. haha! kudos to me.
it’s 2AM but i hope Shay will go to get food &hair mask with me soon. i guess i wanna go out, have some fresh air. it is so cold outside :] it’ll be nice. yes i know being on the 12th floor,is pretty much firsthand enough, but it’ll still be nice to walk in the breeze, ya know what i’m sayin?

yeah. okay. bye. i mean Tschues. carpe diem~

What kind of world do we live in?

HAHAHA OK, KIDDING LAH.

my hair looks so darn silky. so real…I WISH!

&CHECK THIS OUT MAN, :

oh oh and this is the thickest &ugliest eyeliner job I’ve ever done, and also how I’d look like if I became a bum -

yeh . okay, and you should watch this [don't click omg i'm insane]  because i went insane while listening to ETF’s My Apocalypse, what with the hair and everything.
THAT’S HOW YOU HAIRBANG DURING MY APOCALYPSE, MAN!
btw, IF you’re watching it, you might wanna turn up the volume so you can hear the song in the background. by the way…

sorry if your eyes have been burnt out of their sockets, but you’re still able to read this anyways :]
Thank You, thank you very much   n_n

Don’t expect me to say goodbye
I won’t, I won’t say goodbye

greetings ,humans (yep i am back to my size 11)

- I need new clothes, real bad. I’m running out of new outfits to wear ! My wardrobe needs deleting &updating. and I hate to put on an outfit I’ve alr worn before.

- You know what I really hate about TV advertisements? Say, when I’m watching a scary movie or show, there are cliffhangers where a scene suddenly stops right? and then the advertisements come on - crazy ,funny ,silly ,boring ,pointless - and make me lose the ‘in-the-scare’ mood. AND I forget easily where the movie or show last ended, or what went on. &sometimes the ads are more effective than the movie or show - it gets stuck in my head! Good show thus forgotten~

- My 2009 Resolutions are up! Heh. @ 12.06AM or so LOL. but i got them done the night before :] They’re entitled ‘AGOGO 2009!‘ Anyways I don’t wanna share them because everytime I say I want sth out loud, it gets cursed. I’m not one to take chances after a LOT of taking chances. HAHA so they’re up on my noticeboard ,I’m gonna achieve them by the end of the year &that’s THAT. =D sorry, guys.

- I want to go shopping. I wrote down a freakin list of things I wanna get: for my noticeboard, &for covering my skin. I have no money. Umma doesn’t have that kind of money either. and no way I’m gonna ask Dad or Bro or Sis. or even anyone else. I would like to get a job, but then I’d have to have outfits for it, and outfits are precisely what I need the money for. See the irony?

- Now, I am really really hoping Mom has enough money to get me the lappy she said she would. (She told me before my Os, that if I get awesome results, she’ll get me my own.) I told her sometime after my Os that I didn’t want the lappy, I just wanted the money BECAUSE I NEED TO GET SO MANY THINGS! oh man. esp if I wanna go Poly, I need outfits! [ps, i typoed 'poutfits' at first HAHAHA.] and I srsly am wanting a good goood Polaroid. and an mp4 player, which is like at least 8gigs or sth -.-  AH DAMN I JUST NEED A LOT OF STUFF.

- and I am sure Nikko and Eifer want a more awesome tank! I don’t take them out to crawl around a lot anymore, and they’re only in that tiny tank swimming super limitedly )=
they should have a tank to swim in only limitedly.  man! and i am so getting a filter this time! excessive food keeps being given [not by me. &also because most of the times I feed them,noone notices.] thus leaving the tank UBER dirty. i have to clean it practically everyday! sometimes i’m even too lazy dude i am mean. they need a filter. it’s for their own good. yes ,yes. Filter. like in Finding Nemo. awesome filter. they need an awesome tank!

- am i getting crazy over money? no. i am going crazy over my essential needs ,or needs that seem essential for me to live through the next few years nicely.
i hate money, and i will forever hate it. i hate it that humans are the ones controlling over the world. we make more time for other people rather than God. i hate what purpose humans have given us.
i am a politic pooper. i have a song against the government and i can’t wait for it to be recorded, and be spread over the world.

saying this prolly makes me a life pooper too. unless, you know you can do whatever you want without the control of other people. you are thus , mega awesome.

- don’t ask me why my commas are in weird positions. i don’t know why. my hands are that itchy.
i freakin love Nature Path shower foam. Honey Milk. same smell as my hair, HAHA. i have matching smells, oolala.

- i wanna dye my hair again wtf!
i have that gaaahish feeling ,of wanting to dye my hair. i dont know what color, so just forget it. HAHs.
i cannt wait for my hair to GROW. then i can cut off the split ends, finally, without hesitation. and then it shall grow as quickly as Clover hits the mall during a mega sale.

i just realised, i haven’t watched Totally Spies, or any other cartoon shows for that matter, in a long time o.o’ ICH BIN TV DEPRIVED!

thanks for reading this random post. haha Tschuesness (;

Keep this close by your side

HAHAAA

now i’m ALONE at home. &blasting Dying is Your Latest Fashion, and Metro Station wahoo!
singing like mad and soooo not nicely. WHOOOO!!

oh i just love holidays~
btw if you notice sth about my post titles, know that Everyday is a Holiday!  =)
whoo,ich loves.

Last night, I had the weirdest dream